Just a few things that take longer than getting the keys to your house

Just a few things that take longer than getting the keys to your house


Well there’s the pre-approval stage, the actual approval bit (yay), meeting estate agents, some stuff in between, ALL THE VIEWINGS, some stuff in between, oh look KEYS, more bits in between, a house on the horizon…a house on the horizon….(repeat x 12). And just like that, you’re done. Looking back on it, it doesn’t seem that long at all. In fact, it is absolutely more bearable than any of the below wretched life events…

Stubbing your toe and waiting for the pain to pass.

Just your classic death-rage grip followed by casual mind bending excruciation, deafening internal screams, dramatic throbbing, tender sobs and blood swirls until a soft Hell settles. An eternity, in thirty seconds. 


Saying goodbye to your parents vs Successfully Exiting the premises. 

“C’mere til I tell you now before you head off...” 


* 39 minutes later * 


“…and the funny thing is, I heard that from *insert name of local resident you’ve never met, who may or may not have a vague connection with the person the story is about* - can you BELIEVE that?” 


*Chews face*


The last half hour of work. 

Mary believes in the concept of linear time. At 5.01, she has exactly twenty nine minutes (one thousand, seven hundred and forty seconds) left in her working day. Using her functional phone, Mary checks the time in seven minute intervals, yet it remains 5.01. How long before Mary descends into madness? 


Any form of exercise. 

So THAT’S what it feels when all your internal organs explode at once. 


Working on updates: 30% complete. Don’t turn off your PC. 

Could be four minutes, could be four hours, but you better believe those repeat episodes of Friends you know all the words to anyway are worth the wait. 


Look at you now - patience of a Saint! You were BUILT for this house buying business. Go get ‘em.